Fond of Zetea

Zetea*. Population Nnno. Founded by the great Z herself in the year Nineteen Sixty Nnno. Zeteans can be found all around America, but it is guaranteed that you don't know them. Some notable Zetean-Americans include: Angel from Rent, Mimi from Rent, the '80s mayor in Back to the Future, Roxy from Dead Like Me, Kiffany from Dead Like Me, Theresa from The OC, Carl from Love Actually, the Candy Store Owner from Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Mercedes from Glee, Matron Mama Morton from Chiccy, the Asian comedian from that one episode of Dr. Phil, Mr. Eko from Lost, Jacquese (he's ghetto), Calypso from Pirates of the Caribbean, Kingsley Shacklebolt from Harry Potter, Whoopi Goldberg from everything, and many more. Let me break down the happenin's of Zetea for you a bit.

As you can probably tell by the people included in the Zetean-Americans list, to be Zetean you must have an astronomical amount of falava, and exude the Zetean catch phrase: "Y'all don't know me!" All indigenous Zeteans do. If you don't prove to the High Council of Zetea that you not only have falava, but that they don't know you, you will automatically be deported. The High Council of Zetea is comprised of...uh...no one's ever bothered to count because they're too busy being unknown, but numerous floating Giraffe Heads. The Zeteanship process works like so: You must stand before the council and prove that they don't know you, and trust me, this is no easy task. However, you may surpass this test if you are able to wink and snap your fingers in Z formation at the same time. You will then either get a wink of approval or nod of disapproval to tell you the results.

Zetea is equipped with an air-born vigilante police force of Zetean men called the Black Hawks (if you understand the word choice, you are just genius enough to be Zetean). They fly around and protect the Zetean people and Giraffe heads from dogs that may have gone rabid, and various Zetean crimes. The Black Hawks keep the people of Zetea feeling safe and satisfied [;)]. I hope that made sense.

The daily life of a Zetean includes walking around aimlessly but with an enormous amount of swagga. Several times a day Zeteans stop to talk about how little they know each other, and giggle about the floating Giraffe Heads dispersed around the country. They also love pointing out foreigners and watching their befuddled faces stare at the Giraffe Heads and just act so un-Zeteanly known. Zeteans drive around in their hover-cars chanting the Zetean national anthem and bopping their heads in the dance of the High Council.

Another fun fact about Zetea is that there are NO bugs. Instead, Zetea is populated by little dogs. Such dogs include Pekingese, Corgis, and Dachshunds. They scuttle around Zetea, not owned or known by anyone, and contribute to the cycle of life in Zetea.

Although I myself am not Zetean, you can be sure that y'all don't know me! Zetean Powerrrr! (pro.) -Lauren

*(Zetea was co-created by Lauren Lois Evans and Oliver Chase Young-Apstein, and nnno, it is not copyrighted, but nnno, we will not hesitate to kick your ass if you try to steal our ideas.)