Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Fond of Moo and Everything Under the Sun

Would a man with a giant head (And when I say giant, I mean giant, like super duper huge) would this guy, let's be bold and say his name is Rutherford, if he had a teeny tiny little neck, would he always be toppling over like a mad-man? Oh dear I hope not. Green! Some people hate, some people love. Some people even love to hate it, am I right? How many frick fuck children do you think Lady Madonna had? And another question? DID she ever make ends meet? I don't know but she is totally like the octomom of song. I wish that was my title, but instead of song, it was soul. LLE: the Octomom of soul! I like it. Everyone call me that, k? Thanks a bunch lassholes! Where was I shnukem brains? Oh yeah, in Candyland. Hey! Remember that big chocolate monster in candyland? What was that bastards name? I kinda really heally peally want to eat him right now. Next time your at your local theater, be a doll and pick one of those guys up for me you turtle monsters! Fond fond fond fond. Why can't she ver just say "FOND OF FUCKING POOP!?" Wait a tec. Do you think that means having sexual relations with poop? If so, ewww. I am UNfond of that. Or am I? Ooh, I'm so naughty! Naughty like those kids that Santa hates. He's so biased that fat bastard! And anyone else can't sleep at night knowing that that fat man is just sitting over at his pole staring at you? I know I can't. He freakity freaks me oouut. Wanna know a delicious secret?
Are you ready for this shocker? I don't think you are yet.
Okay I'll say it.
This is not Lauren.
It's Yogi Bear.
It's actually Oli bitchez!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Fond of Macaroni

Long time no see! Gosh, don't be strangers. What's that you say? I'M the one who's been gone. How dare you make such an accusation! Little 'ol me had a BIG 'ol government test this week. You know how it goes. Let me tell you about the time I went to Jupiter. Boy was that a good trip! I ate anti-gravity cotton candy (believe me, that was no easy task), and floated around the surface. Surprisingly, there is lots of macaroni and cheese on Jupiter. Why are some words that are the same spelled differently? Not like there/their/they're, like capital/capitol, medal/metal. It's weird, isn't it? Who decided which spelling is for which meaning? I'd like to get a good look into that guy's brain. I bet you he feels really accomplished for making such important decisions. Why didn't they just come up with new words? Or spell both meanings the same way. It would be confusing, yeah, but really make more sense. Which meaning/spelling came first? Okay this blog has taken me about 4 hours of off and on concentrating and my brain is a little fuzzy and my eyes are itchy and yeah. That's my way of telling you goodbye.
So long, space cadets! -Lauren

Monday, December 7, 2009

Fond of Remodels

So I've decided to rename my blog "Forum of Fondness." I've done this for no other reason than that is what my blog has become. Oh, and I love alliteration. So, swish it around, see how it tastes, and let me know. Wait, don't let me know, I've already done it anyways. Now then, lets move on. I've been sick for the last couple of days, and I'm still feeling nothing short of awful, so I'm going to make this brief. Oh, I hear my little sisters listening to The Beatles down the hall. There's almost nothing I'm fond of more than my boys John, Paul, George, and Ringo! Okay, me and my spen (that's a spoon and pen morphed into one fantastically functional utensil!) are going to attempt to mend the relationship between studying and having clouds for brains. 
To infinity, and beyond! -Lauren
P.s. I updated the blog-writer-thingy and it looks like it lacks my usual choice of font color, so here's the new one!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Fond of EVERYTHING

Hello!!!! Hello again!!! Hello again again!!! PEEYA! Poop poop pee pee. Yum.
SLYTHERIN! Am I right? Yeah I am. Tthat's fantastic! Dun Dun Dun! Giraffes! Elephants! Mr. E. Phant. Mrs. G. Raff. Apoohaha! So the other day I was running and running and running and I saw this Turtle and he said hey Oli what's up? And I was like Hey I'm okay and he siad Well I didn't ask if you were okay or not butthole and I said Back off man dood and he said YOU back off and I was all like Get out of here you jerk and he was totally all Hey man... I hate you And I was like Yo whattup why you be hating and I was like chill out man and he was like No. You And I was all This conversation's over. I'm leaving.
Then I left. A hey hey! A hoo hoo! Chookie chookie chookie! I just realized that I put a name up there that is not the person that is supposed to be writing this. Weird. Y'know monsters? Those things are strange. I like that franky one with the bolts and shit? He's cool. He's seck. Like sick dank fool legit rondonkulous. No but seriously I don't say that. I JUST typed "das foonay" but not on here like on somewhere else you knows? Yeah so babe whats up? Y'know ants? Those guys are small. Like what the sun not is. Which is large. Meaning small.
Goodnight and goodluck!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Fond of Parallels

Well well well. We meet again. Butthead! C U Next Tuesday! Those seemed like inappropriate words to shout at this time, but I did anyways. You should all take some time to take this blog for granted, because I'm an essentially invisible person. I mean, have you seen me? I know it's hard to look sometimes, and you may be forced to shield your eyes, but the truth has to be soaked in sometimes. I'm a goddamn sight for sore eyes . It's like someone sculpted me out of melted playdoh. Maybe it was that Ronald McDonald guy. Enough with the Dobby-isms, lets get down to brass tacks. Oh, you didn't bring any? Well that ruins everything! Now there's absolutely no hope. One word I would use to describe myself is... pathetic. Yeah, that's the one. Take a good, hard look at me. Pathetic, no? Once, a gal on the street told me I was like nothing she'd ever seen. Way to go and make a chick feel like dirt chiquita shmashmana! You know what my favorite movie of all time is? Really any holocaust documentary. Wow there are some scenes in that shit that I just can't help but be obsessed with. It makes me want to fly over a rainbow and travel to Hitler's house. And it fills my tummy with nuclear weaponry. Just thinking about it made me feel like lying in a bed of atom bombs. Oh bombas, sweet bikas. How I love thee and thy sweeteth explosions. I wimper as I watch you shatter and destroy. Oh me oh my, how the time lasts forever. I feel like there could have been a valuable rhyme in there somewhere, but who am I kidding, I totally suck. Does the word 'pee' originate from 'piss'? Just curious. Raise your hand if your favorite character from Star Trek is Nero! Mine too! You know who I just absolutely completely loathe?! Oprah. Seriously, give up on the whole "become god" thing and just go back to wherever you came from. Oh and bring Gail with you. My idol, on the other hand, is Marilyn Manson. He exudes such substance and wisdom, I almost can't handle it. Alright y'all, time to go spend some time in a black hole. *Loneliness* See you never. -Lauren

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Fond of Secrets

I have a huge secret to let you in on. Are you curious to know what it is, or are you just angry I'm keeping secrets from you in the first place? I'd be both. Don't worry, this even THAT huge of a deal. I mean it's huge but it's not THAT huge. I'd say on the richter scale of huge, it's about a 5. And that's just to me, to you it's probably somewhere between a 3 or a 4. I remember when my sisters were 3 and 4, it seems like only yesterday. I digress. Where was I? Guys, really, where was I? Oh yeah, tengo uno secreto grande. Oh you don't speak Spanish? That's present tense first person Spanish for: "I have a big secret." And there you have it, your foreign languages lesson for the day. I'll see you tomorrow for a brief lecture on the importance of the umlaut. What's that you say? You don't know what an umlaut is? That proposes some über concern and unrest within me. We're going to have to have an extra lesson about punctuation after I'm done telling you all about my secret. Oh, and what a secret it is! I remember this one time, this girl was like "I have a secret!" and I was like "No way!" and she was like "Yeah way!" Can you believe it? I know, me neither. Sometimes secrets like that are just too hard to handle. Sorry if my secret is too wild for your virgin ears. Wait, I forgot to ask the most basic question, can you keep a secret? -Lauren

Monday, November 30, 2009

Fond of Ecstasy

Whoa, Lauren, you like drugs? No, silly, I'm just ecstatic! Tonight my Mock Trial team won the LA County Championship! I'm kind of going insane with hyperness and exhaustion, and basically I'm just incredibly excited. We get to go to Telesca's house for a Christmas party, get our picture/plaque on his Wall of Fame, get out winning year on the banner in St. Louis Hall, get shiny gold medals, be on ABC's Eyewitness News, AND MOVE ON TO STATE! I'm going to be really boring and leave it at that but I am really excited for tomorrow and the rest of the week because I'm going on service which means no homework which means sleep. Yay sleep! Oh, and West Wing, but that's a given. Also if you ever needed a favor from me, now's the time to ask because I'm insanely happy and bound to say yes. You're welcome for leaking that valuable information. Goodnight and good riddance! -Lauren