Fond of Secrets

I have a huge secret to let you in on. Are you curious to know what it is, or are you just angry I'm keeping secrets from you in the first place? I'd be both. Don't worry, this even THAT huge of a deal. I mean it's huge but it's not THAT huge. I'd say on the richter scale of huge, it's about a 5. And that's just to me, to you it's probably somewhere between a 3 or a 4. I remember when my sisters were 3 and 4, it seems like only yesterday. I digress. Where was I? Guys, really, where was I? Oh yeah, tengo uno secreto grande. Oh you don't speak Spanish? That's present tense first person Spanish for: "I have a big secret." And there you have it, your foreign languages lesson for the day. I'll see you tomorrow for a brief lecture on the importance of the umlaut. What's that you say? You don't know what an umlaut is? That proposes some über concern and unrest within me. We're going to have to have an extra lesson about punctuation after I'm done telling you all about my secret. Oh, and what a secret it is! I remember this one time, this girl was like "I have a secret!" and I was like "No way!" and she was like "Yeah way!" Can you believe it? I know, me neither. Sometimes secrets like that are just too hard to handle. Sorry if my secret is too wild for your virgin ears. Wait, I forgot to ask the most basic question, can you keep a secret? -Lauren