Today, Oli and I co-discovered the insanity that is Nigel Tomm. It all started when Oli IMdB'd The Catcher in the Rye to see if there was a movie and was given the option to watch the entire film directed by Nigel Tomm. Of course, he clicked it, only to find that it was 75 minutes of a blank blue screen. Astonished and confused, I decided to Wikipedia this curious character. After finding no such Wikipedia page, I kept researching only to find that Nigel Tomm is an eccentric author, artist, and to say the least, absurdist. He writes a terribly narcissistic blog, each post claiming he is the Most _____ of 2009-2010 and having a differently colored version of the same flattering photograph of himself. Under this photograph is a different line about how inspirational and innovative his hair is. Weird, right? It gets much, much worse. Next, Oli discovers that our pal Nige has a Youtube account and did a series of vlogs all titled "I'm Nigel Tomm," containing a silent, black and white Nigel moving in swift, staccato movements that are nothing short of eerily creepy. These vlogs literally made me scream. Although it may seem like I can't stand this guy, I can't seem to stop wondering about him. If you can even call Nigel a him. Oli and then started following NigelTomm on Twitter and I found myself in a Nigel tweeting frenzy! As I said in a tweet, Nigel makes me say things that don't say things. And then those things say other things. Nigel seems to turn all of these things into, for the most part [homo]sexually perverse notions. What a gem. Within the last hour, we have ventured to our good pal Amazon to search for some of Nigel's work. With phallic, blah, abstract representations of modern Pop culture, Nigel has officially raised the bar of madness for lunatics everywhere. So that you can come the slightest bit closer to understanding the anomely that is Nigel Tomm, take a gander at one of his book titles: Kidult Eva Mendes In Fucky Kidulthood Poster With Anne Hathaway & Denise Richards Beg Rachel Mcadams: Let Naomi Watts, Matthew Mcconaughey, Tara Reid & Monica Bellucci Calendar Sex Movies Biography (Paperback). The text of Nigel's books are either none at all, or laced with "blahs" and "fucks." For example, a paragraph may read something along the lines of: "Then she blah blah the fucking blah and blah the blah fuck her the blah and brought the blah to the blah blah fuckety blah with Anne Hathaway blah." Don't worry, I'm speechless too. So, now I remain, pondering whether or not to think Nigel is freaky and brilliant or just completely deranged, and strongly considering purchasing some of his work. Nigel Tomm said himself: "Animals have several characteristics that set them apart from Nigel Tomm." -Lauren
No comments:
Post a Comment